Fair go for Dads ( and my little brother)

Now I realise the contraversy I will cause with this and am prepared to justify it with a true scenario. But I applaud the changes envisaged for support payments of non custodial parents , I applaud them for several reasons. One is because of my brother and his situation with his son and the other because it catches up with deceiving nasties as my brothers ex. Do not get me wrong, I do not have a good relationship with my brother ,we have different politics and ideals , and it is a wonder we even have the same parents we are so diverse. And I do not hate my brothers ex, we had the greatest time together and our children are only 14 month apart so we cemented out relationship in that process too. She chooses not to stay in contact, I still send her birthday cards, Christmas cards and cards for the kids(even her new kids) birthday. So there is nothing more in this than what I have experienced and saw my little bruver go through.

My brother has custody of his son for school holidays and alternating Christmas and birthdays, his son lives interstate where his mother took him when he was 9 month old, without my brothers permission or knowledge. My brother worked 14/7 to pay for the investigator who located his ex and his son, 6 months later....In another state. He then applied for custody/visitations rights etc...He was denied custody and visits without the ex about as she was still breastfeeding him ( my nephew was 20months old by this time)!!! He finally got visits in the state only when his son was almost 2years old...Until then my nephew hardly knew who his Dad was. At 3, they went to Court to sort out interstate visits and support benefits ( up until then and after his ex was receiving benefits from Centrelink but was living in a defacto relationship with another guy) the solicitors advised my brother and her that as the agreement; was amicable and my brother was paying above the accepted amount of support for his income bracket plus was supplying his son with new clothes at each visit; that there was no need to have the agreement ratified by the Court. Over the next 4 years, my nephew came over for school holidays (alternating or when his mum and new hubby were holidaying and needed a babysitter) often the hols did not fit in with the holidays here so we would get together for the kids on weekends at the beach or the zoo or such. Meanwhile, my brother was paying for airfares to travel to collect his son, bring him back to Melb, travel back with him and then his return. Once my nephew was old enough and ok with it, he traveled back and forth alone in the company of a steward/ess...My brother still paid for these trips each and every time.
About 8 months ago, Ex decides that marriage no 2 ( my brother and her were never married but in a defacto, I still considered her my sister in law) needs more money , hubby has his own flourishing business which is franchising out, they travel OS biannual, she has a daughter and my nephew attends a private school ( fees paid for by my brother) but she needs a cash injection. SO lets apply to the Child Support Agency( CSA) for support, forgetting the in excess of a grand paid into a bank account in her name each month for support, the school fees, the clothes and the paid airfares when they need a baby sitter. CSA, in their wisdom, check nothing but send my brother a bill (calculated retrospectively) for in excess of $20k. Then then wipe out his bank account. They also place a garnishee order on his salary. He contacts them, telling them he has receipts for all payments made to her account since the inception for the agreement, plus the agreement signed by both of them and witnessed by the solicitors for each party. No , sorry , you can show it to us in Court, agreement?? Was it ratified by the Court? NO? Sorry, means nothing.
What has happened is that little miss ex has told CSA that she has received NOTHING from my brother ever...So they hand over his $20k to her. Plus ongoing garnished payments for the next 6 months. I can talk about his now as the matter has been through the Court and resolved.
Under advisement from his solicitor, my brother did the following:
Firstly, my brother contacted Centrelink to tell them she was getting benefits when she was living with someone and he supplied copies of receipts for all the payments he made to her( she told them she was not getting any support). He sent copies to CSA also. Centrelink went after her for overpayment and CSA adjusted the amount my brother "owed" by the amount she had be overpaid by Centrelink ( ain't it grand the way Govt dept. work together, NOT).
After the matter went to Court, it was found that my brother was paying well above the expected amount of support and another agreement (very similar) was drawn up and RATIFIED by the Court. CSA refunded my brother his $20k plus his garnisheed salary, inclusive of interest. This money come from a special fund for cases like this when they have to give the money back, as Miss Ex spent most of the $20k, she has to repay CSA...Shame this does not work in reverse!!! She also had to repay Centrelink for the 4 years ( we thought it was only 2 or 3) of claiming single parent benefit, inclusive of rent assistance. Her husband wrote a cheque that day in Court for the money ( over $30k)

So now you see?? I realise that for every one of these horror stories for Dads there is probably 2 or 3 for a mum. But it is just so you realise it is not always the Dad who is the deceiver, the recalcitrant payer, the one leaving the kids without ( which is why my brother pays the school fees direct to the school and buys the clothes for my nephew himself instead of sending the money to her)
This is just another side to the story, another piece and as I said; my brother is no angel but he loves his son and deserves to be part of his life for as long as his son wishes him to be. This issue should not be about money inso much as equality and rights, the rights of child to see their non custodial parent, the equality of the sexes to share parenting and the rights of the individual to have justice done.

Let's play a game...............

Now this game is called "Ask a question, Answer a question" it works like this. I will ask a question which can be generic, and not even relevant to the person/s I link it to. They , inturn, answer the question and ask another of someone (or more ) else and so on and on an on and on ad infinite.
I actually picked up this idea from a forum I frequent and they have over 2000 questions and answers, last time I looked.
The questions can be silly like "what colour is you wallpaper?" and the answers equally so "I don't have wallpaper" and even create a thread "why not?" "I don't like it"
SO I am bored OK
Let's PLAY

WHO WOULD YOU BE IF YOU COULD BE ANY ONE AND WHY??

I PICK............
JAMIE
SUPAMOM
Crrtic

ENJOY AND PASS THE FUN AROUND

Term 4, 2005 artwork. I have been remiss and slack...no excuses 

My boy read me a book last night.............

For a child who I was told would struggle in mainstream school, Mr 6 is not doing too badly. He proudly bought home his first reader last night, titled " I Can Swim". It consists of about 10 pages with an animal on one page undertaking the action with the words beneath and the other page has the surrounding happenings. This is because the "new" style of learning to read is no longer phonetic ( sounding out) but using other prompts for word recognition's such as pictures, no longer do teachers say "sound out the word" but "what do you think he is doing". Close enough is good enough..If the child says splashing instead of swimming, that will do; it's still visual comprehension.

Anyway, my boy read me a book all about a crocodile who can swim and a monkey who swings and an elephant that squirts and a leopard who can run and all sorts of other animals and their antics.

My boy read me a book and recognised 3 of the ten vocabulary words in the back
My boy read me a book and told me all about what else was happening in the book
My boy read me a book and then re did the vocabulary words
My boy read me a book
My boy can read

Cattitude....

Carrying on from Brians ask that I create a post that shows my cattitude I will attempt to enlighten you all on the wonders of the world of according to mothers. Now I know I have often done this before , posting about my daily stuff, my routine stuff but today I will post the RULES which should apply to all and sundry as according to mums. Sorry to the working full time, kidless , colleagues, community members but think of it this as time and effort spend with our little Sebastians, Johans, Amelias and Siobahans means a more settled doctor, nurse, podiatrists, dentist, cleaner, optomertrist, funeral director for YOU in your later years...LMAO.

RULE 1: Any child can push past you in the supermarket if you are blocking the lolly/biscuit/snack area he/she needs access to. Even more so if you are chatting on your mobile about the newest wine or a new dress. You tosser, you.

RULE 2: When in a supermarket queue with a) two or more children under 3 b) children who are hot/tired/bored or been denied lollys/whatever or c)siblings who are fighting, mums will have right of way to go to the head of the queue and be served before all others.

RULE 3: The petrol bowser closest to the pay booth shall be designated PARENT PETROL and only be used by parents with children in the car so they can keep an eye on the children whilst getting fuel and paying for it.

RULE 4: It shall be illegal to sniff offensively, sigh, tch tch, roll your eyes or any other form of un accepting behavior should my children undertake something YOU deem offensive, of bad manners, or unacceptable. This offensive is punishable by having to play at Party princess or clown at a month worth of children parties.

RULE 5: Bosses shall allow employees time off for teacher meetings, parents day, tour my school/kinder, doctors appointments, etc without groaning and carrying on about the other employees....My son might save your life on the operating table one day and then you will be grateful I had that 2 hours off for parent teacher interviews.

RULE 6: On public transport; should I be silly enough or desperate enough to utilise it with three kids; you will show sympathy if not some empathy and offer a seat to the whinging child who wants a seat.

RULE 7: All restaurants who claim to be "family" restaurants will provide an enclosed play area with decent play equipment and real kids meals not just downsized adult meals

RULE 8: If I am driving too slow for you it is because I am in a "SCHOOL ZONE" (IDIOT)
I care little if you are late for work, get up earlier, I could give you a wake up call at 0500 if you like........

RULE 9: All kids can and will play ball with the dog, too bad if the ball hits the fence or OMG, the the kids sound like they are having fun, that's just TUFF!!!

RULE10: All children will be raised in the manner we see fit, regardless of what you "think" would be better, or what you "read" somewhere or what you saw on "Oprah/ Sally Jesse/ Dr Phil/ Super Nanny. We live it day to day ,every day until you live in our world, stay out of it!!!!!!!!

There attitude with a Molotov chaser..............
Don't forget to clean out the crisper bin in the fridge.