Cattitude....

Carrying on from Brians ask that I create a post that shows my cattitude I will attempt to enlighten you all on the wonders of the world of according to mothers. Now I know I have often done this before , posting about my daily stuff, my routine stuff but today I will post the RULES which should apply to all and sundry as according to mums. Sorry to the working full time, kidless , colleagues, community members but think of it this as time and effort spend with our little Sebastians, Johans, Amelias and Siobahans means a more settled doctor, nurse, podiatrists, dentist, cleaner, optomertrist, funeral director for YOU in your later years...LMAO.

RULE 1: Any child can push past you in the supermarket if you are blocking the lolly/biscuit/snack area he/she needs access to. Even more so if you are chatting on your mobile about the newest wine or a new dress. You tosser, you.

RULE 2: When in a supermarket queue with a) two or more children under 3 b) children who are hot/tired/bored or been denied lollys/whatever or c)siblings who are fighting, mums will have right of way to go to the head of the queue and be served before all others.

RULE 3: The petrol bowser closest to the pay booth shall be designated PARENT PETROL and only be used by parents with children in the car so they can keep an eye on the children whilst getting fuel and paying for it.

RULE 4: It shall be illegal to sniff offensively, sigh, tch tch, roll your eyes or any other form of un accepting behavior should my children undertake something YOU deem offensive, of bad manners, or unacceptable. This offensive is punishable by having to play at Party princess or clown at a month worth of children parties.

RULE 5: Bosses shall allow employees time off for teacher meetings, parents day, tour my school/kinder, doctors appointments, etc without groaning and carrying on about the other employees....My son might save your life on the operating table one day and then you will be grateful I had that 2 hours off for parent teacher interviews.

RULE 6: On public transport; should I be silly enough or desperate enough to utilise it with three kids; you will show sympathy if not some empathy and offer a seat to the whinging child who wants a seat.

RULE 7: All restaurants who claim to be "family" restaurants will provide an enclosed play area with decent play equipment and real kids meals not just downsized adult meals

RULE 8: If I am driving too slow for you it is because I am in a "SCHOOL ZONE" (IDIOT)
I care little if you are late for work, get up earlier, I could give you a wake up call at 0500 if you like........

RULE 9: All kids can and will play ball with the dog, too bad if the ball hits the fence or OMG, the the kids sound like they are having fun, that's just TUFF!!!

RULE10: All children will be raised in the manner we see fit, regardless of what you "think" would be better, or what you "read" somewhere or what you saw on "Oprah/ Sally Jesse/ Dr Phil/ Super Nanny. We live it day to day ,every day until you live in our world, stay out of it!!!!!!!!

There attitude with a Molotov chaser..............
Don't forget to clean out the crisper bin in the fridge.